Self Doubt – The Cancer of Success

Self doubt is much like the killer disease in that it can actually kill any chances of you becoming successful! It almost doesn't matter what level of skills you may have if you lack confidence for any reason your own efforts will likely be counterproductive keeping you from your goals!

Let's look at 3 ways doubting yourself can actually create an almost impenetrable barrier!

Erodes Confidence

With a subconscious that never takes a rest saturated with doubts about your ability to become successful the outcome seems inevitable! Your thoughts and efforts need to be focused and positive to achieve most anything but when you lack confidence this makes things very difficult! As your inner being is saying you 'can't' it tends to nullify any physical efforts you make much like trying to run in quicksand! Remember your subconscious is 'working' on your 24/7 so that even when you're asleep negative thoughts continue to course through you!

Drains Energy

After a short period the enthusiasm that compelled you to take action in the first place has ebbed to a very low level. This is where you've draw your motivation and energy from but as your mind begins to tell your body 'what's the point' your energy also gets run down as well! In fact at this point it seems any actions you are taking are at the least ineffective if not downright counterproductive to your goals! That damn subconscious is winning a battle your physical being is not even fully aware is occurring since the mind works in very subtle yet relentless ways, like a cancer!
 
Weakens Commitment

Now you're riddled with thoughts that are telling you how impossible it may be for you to become successful and your energy level is next to nothing. Much like suffocating your entire being is depraved of the positive thoughts needed to continue moving towards your intended goals! Quitting at this point is beginning to look like a pretty good option since little or no progress is now being made and as your commitment weakens so does your efforts!

Self doubt is a disease much like a cancer from the standpoint that it can actually kill your chances of becoming successfully. Doubting yourself causes you to lack confidence which can be a very counterproductive feeling when trying to achieve any goals or objectives you target! There's a saying that goes like this ' if you think you can you're right and if you think you can't you're right again' and this holds a lot of truth! Our own ability to become successful at just about anything can be severely diminished by our subconscious telling us we can't succeed! When you lack confidence as a result of inner doubts it can create some formidable barriers such as the 3 discussed here today! The key is to surround yourself with like minded positive people and invest in yourself to be better prepared for whatever you set your sights on! In doing so you increase your chances of becoming successful dramatically!

CHARITY EVENT - SRI SAI SPECIAL HOME, KLANG, MALAYSIA

EVENT SCHEDULE 

DATE : 19th November 2011 (Saturday)

TIME :  11.30am ~ 4.00pm

Agenda

a. Lunch threat with all the occupants

b. Games activity with the children

c. Prize giving ceremony to the children

RM 10/pax will be collected prior to the event to cover the following expenses:-

a. Food for about 100 ppl

b. Items for the games and prizes

*Any balance money left from above collection will be donated to the HOME.
*Please take note that payment will be collected before the event and names will be registered.

Those well wishers who wants to donate any other items are most welcomed. Material such as revision book, workbooks, pens, art papers, table, chair, book rack to create library, recyclable used computer, printer to create ICT lab are needed as well apart from daily consumed food items.

"We have almost everything we want and if in need, we can still go back to our parents, but the less fortunate children from this Home and many other homes like this, have no parents or family to go to"

Please contact me at raj.ptm@gmail.com for more details on this event. 

This is the Sri Sai Special Home which accommodates:-  

5 Kids (Age between 2 to 6) 

13 Primary school students (Age 7 – 12) 

9 Secondary school students (Age 13 – 17)  

5 Adults 

5 Veterans 

3 OKUs 

1 Veteran critical patient 

Other people have been care in this home including 1 year old baby up to 96 and 106 year old grandma.

Some of the photos which I took from previous event organized in this HOME;

Charity Work - The Essence Of Finding Real Happiness

If you want to live long and happy, invest in people and what better way to do it than through charity work. You have a great responsibility of volunteering, which unfortunately many think is a choice. The reason why volunteers are not paid is because they are priceless. There is no better investment than in kindness and love. Money and other assets are set to rot or lose value with time.

The best exercise for your heart is in reaching down and lifting others up through charity work. Acts of charity gives you pleasure and contentment in the fact that you are able to help someone. One has not lived until he/she does something to somebody worth remembering. The best investment is where you expect no returns. That is the essence of love, it is selfless and unconditional. There are two things that man must have in order to find living worthwhile; and these are attitude and love. No matter what situations might be, man must always remain calm humble and positive.

One who does not appreciate the events of life finds no joy at all and is thus unable to offer charity works to others; for how can you offer love if you do not have any? Joy begins within a person as a result of high esteem and optimism. One may expect to receive no affection and kindness from others but if he is happy by himself, his affection will surely be contagious.

Life satisfaction does not come from how much your bank account reads but by how many lives you have touched. Those simple acts of charity work that may seem insignificant can be what just another person needs to have hope in life. Therefore, go out there are touch someone who is in need of help.

 “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.
We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”
― Mother Teresa

Obstacles in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity (to grow, or gain) !

The Secret? A Positive Attitude About Opportunites

Exercising is not one of my favorite pastimes but I know it's good for me. So every day I try to get outside and take a 2-mile walk. Most days I carry a small notebook and pen with me so that I can jot down the random brilliant thoughts that come to me as I stroll around the neighborhood.

A few weeks ago I was rounding a corner about half way through my walk and noticed a nickel in the road. I adjusted my gait so that I stepped on the shiny coin and kept walking.

Within a few steps I started thinking of my daughter who always stops to pick up loose change. She wouldn't have passed this one by. I was half tempted to turn around and go back for it, but I thought it would be embarrassing if someone happened to see me stooping down to pick up a nickel.

It didn't take long for me to transition my thoughts from that nickel to those small opportunities that have been in front of me that I've stepped on or passed by. How many have I overlooked because I thought they were insignificant? How many have I been too embarrassed to attempt? How many have I stepped on because I wanted to show the world they were unworthy of my attention?

Later that day I told my daughter about the nickel incident because it was continued to weigh on my mind. She didn't say, "Don't worry about it. It was only a nickel." She did say, "I would have picked it up. Did you know that one day at school I found over a dollar in change on the floor?"

She had taken advantage of seemingly small opportunities. But when added up, they became something worthwhile. In my daughter's case, she was able to buy a can of soda from the vending machine at school-something she wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.

The next morning I paid attention as I walked that same stretch of road. I was determined to pick up that nickel if I saw it again. But alas, it was gone. Not surprising I guess. Someone else is usually willing to take advantage of the opportunities that others choose to pass by. Unfortunately by the time I decided to take advantage of it, the opportunity was no longer there.

Of course not every opportunity is one that I want to stop and pick up. Some merely resemble something that would help me achieve my goals in life, the way that bottle caps, from a distance, look a lot like coins. But some we recognize immediately as worthwhile yet we still choose to walk by them.

Since the day I walked past that nickel in the road, I've been more attuned to opportunities that surround me. I've been paying attention to my response to them. Instead of quickly discounting the ones that appear to be small payoffs, I'm looking at the bigger picture. What can a small opportunity add to what I already have going on? How can a small opportunity serve as the beginning of something bigger?

 What a great life lesson! And it only cost me a nickel.

Story Of An Elephant

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

Happy Marriage Life - Key to Success

Often people think that marriage life and success is not related. But in fact, it is. A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger. It is very important to leave your all perils and suffocation to office when you entered in your home because sometimes it can effect your married life so badly. To those who are married and planning to get married, below are some tips on how to make your spouse and family happy all the time and get their positive vibration on climbing the ladder of success

1. Know Your Partner Well

Developing awareness of your partner's tastes is among the keys to a happy married life. Your relationship can be shaped according to each other's preferences. When you are aware of your partner's dislikes, you can refrain from doing what will cause distress to your partner. This will ensure your partner that you are considerate of him or her, a factor that is of utmost importance in the successful achievement of marital harmony.



2. Don’t Leave Things Unsaid

I watched a movie once – I think it was one of those British romantic comedies – where a man is asked why his marriage failed and he replies “Because we left too many things unsaid” and though I don’t normally take advice from movies, this one I took to heart. If you don’t voice your problems they have nowhere to go. Worse if you voice them to people not in your marriage – i.e. friends, coworkers, anyone else – then instead of airing your dirty laundry you let it fester. No matter how long two people have known each other there will still be things that they don’t pick up when unspoken. Sure you may think your partner knows what you’re thinking, but what if they don’t?

3. Make Decisions Together

Making decisions together is also a key to achieving happiness in marriage for three reasons. First, this practise enables the couple to work in collaboration to reach a decision. Second, both get equally involved in the decision making. Third, if only one person makes a decision that ultimately turns out to be a bad one, it could lead to resentment.

4. Accept your Partner

It is tempting to find a person and try to shape them into the partner you really want. Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety and it hurts. You shouldn’t go into a marriage or a relationship thinking to change someone. And if you do remember the most you can do is explain what it is, explain how it affects you or why it affects you and if it’s important, then they may change. And if they don’t, then think about all the things that they may wish changed in you. Of course if there are too many things you want to change, it is important to face that this may not be the right person for you, or you may be expecting too much. People will be what they will be, spending your marriage life trying to shift habits and personalities is like trying to push boulders up a mountain, tiring and not very fun.

5. Balance Your Work and Life

You have to pay a lot of attention to your married life to ensure its success, which means that you should learn to balance between your career and personal life. Sometimes, you could get very much involved in your career and push married life to the background. You have to put in some effort to prevent this from happening. You have to realize that there is no career in the world that holds as much importance as your married life. At the same time, it cannot be denied that sometimes you have to work at weekends and in the late evenings too. But make an honest attempt to minimize these situations. Try not to bring your work home. In short, don't allow your career to interfere with your married life. If you place too much emphasis on your job, your marriage will naturally suffer. You can talk about your day at work or vent about some problem you might be facing with employers or colleagues, but otherwise, keep the office where it is and don't let it wreck your married life.

6. Don't Focus on Disagreements

All marriages have their share of problems and discords. It is important not to prolong an argument. If ever you disagree, try to come to a friendly conclusion. If this is impossible, at least agree to disagree and proceed with your married life. Everyday is a new beginning. Forget the disagreements or arguments of the previous day when you wake up to each day. In spite of your honest attempts, if you were unable to work out a solution to the problem, forget about it and go on with new day harmoniously.

 

7. Spend Time Together

 

It’s obvious, but a relationship without any face time is going to have problems. I have met happy couples who spend months apart because of work commitments, but they are few and far between and more often than not, their happiness is more a testament to their character and emotional abilities than anything else. Of course spending time together doesn’t simply mean being in the same room, it means actively finding time where you engage with each other. It may even take work and effort, but remember from above, a happy marriage takes work! Spending time together, also often entails spending some time alone. Children, even pets can sometimes be barriers to engaging with one another. Even if you simply have a few moments while they run off, it’s important to be alone too.

8. Make Time for Both Your Ambitions and Goals

It is all too easy to focus on your own goals and ambitions and hope or even assume that your partner shares them. If you don’t know what your partner’s life goals are, ask them. In my marriage, I have goals that are to do largely with working, whereas my wife wants to travel the world. If we did either and not the other, one of us would feel unfulfilled. The solution is of course balance. We try to do one then a little of the other, then switch.

9. Agree on Critical Issues before Marriage

Before getting married, know your partner well and discuss major issues. For instance, it will be disastrous to discover after marriage that your partner does not want any children while you want to become a parent. Differences of opinion on such crucial matters can utterly destroy a marriage. Make sure that you marry someone only after coming to an agreement about critical matters such as this. It will prevent problems cropping up in your married life in the future.

 10. Share Household Chores

This is the greatest secret to a happy married life. A couple that shares domestic chores and goes out of the way to make things easy for each other ensure happiness and peace in their married life. You will wreck your life if you don't help your spouse with domestic chores. You could also go as far as making a list of things to be done everyday and taking your share of the responsibility. It is not fair to burden one person with all the work; so a written document of the responsibilities that each partner has to shoulder will go a long way in protecting domestic peace.

 

Don't confuse harmony in married life with agreeing to everything that your spouse says. You don't have to agree to each and every issue to enjoy a peaceful and happy married life. Many factors contribute to the peace and happiness of a married life. Some might be crucial and some may be small, but they all play a major role in a harmonious marriage.

But, there are few things that I consider as a warning in marriage life. Try to avoid below things at the same time you follow tips above.

1. If you cheat on your partner it will ruin your own life, so make sure to always be honest with your spouse!

2. Always listen carefully. Some fights ruin the life even both sides do not know the cause of the fight.

3. Communication is the key to a relationship. One should feel free to discuss all things with out fear of repercussion at any time.

4. All issues need to have a solution and be resolved at the time of the conversation. Finish what you start other wise things just hang in the balance,which leads to future problems.

5. Learn to know one another understand you are not the same get to know eachother and the way they are. Respect that we are all individuals.

Have a happy and successful marriage life.