Feb 18, 2011

Happy Marriage Life - Key to Success

Often people think that marriage life and success is not related. But in fact, it is. A happy married life is as essential for fulfillment as food is for hunger. It is very important to leave your all perils and suffocation to office when you entered in your home because sometimes it can effect your married life so badly. To those who are married and planning to get married, below are some tips on how to make your spouse and family happy all the time and get their positive vibration on climbing the ladder of success

1. Know Your Partner Well

Developing awareness of your partner's tastes is among the keys to a happy married life. Your relationship can be shaped according to each other's preferences. When you are aware of your partner's dislikes, you can refrain from doing what will cause distress to your partner. This will ensure your partner that you are considerate of him or her, a factor that is of utmost importance in the successful achievement of marital harmony.


2. Don’t Leave Things Unsaid

I watched a movie once – I think it was one of those British romantic comedies – where a man is asked why his marriage failed and he replies “Because we left too many things unsaid” and though I don’t normally take advice from movies, this one I took to heart. If you don’t voice your problems they have nowhere to go. Worse if you voice them to people not in your marriage – i.e. friends, coworkers, anyone else – then instead of airing your dirty laundry you let it fester. No matter how long two people have known each other there will still be things that they don’t pick up when unspoken. Sure you may think your partner knows what you’re thinking, but what if they don’t?

3. Make Decisions Together

Making decisions together is also a key to achieving happiness in marriage for three reasons. First, this practise enables the couple to work in collaboration to reach a decision. Second, both get equally involved in the decision making. Third, if only one person makes a decision that ultimately turns out to be a bad one, it could lead to resentment.

4. Accept your Partner

It is tempting to find a person and try to shape them into the partner you really want. Trying to change a person never works. People know when they are not accepted in their entirety and it hurts. You shouldn’t go into a marriage or a relationship thinking to change someone. And if you do remember the most you can do is explain what it is, explain how it affects you or why it affects you and if it’s important, then they may change. And if they don’t, then think about all the things that they may wish changed in you. Of course if there are too many things you want to change, it is important to face that this may not be the right person for you, or you may be expecting too much. People will be what they will be, spending your marriage life trying to shift habits and personalities is like trying to push boulders up a mountain, tiring and not very fun.

5. Balance Your Work and Life

You have to pay a lot of attention to your married life to ensure its success, which means that you should learn to balance between your career and personal life. Sometimes, you could get very much involved in your career and push married life to the background. You have to put in some effort to prevent this from happening. You have to realize that there is no career in the world that holds as much importance as your married life. At the same time, it cannot be denied that sometimes you have to work at weekends and in the late evenings too. But make an honest attempt to minimize these situations. Try not to bring your work home. In short, don't allow your career to interfere with your married life. If you place too much emphasis on your job, your marriage will naturally suffer. You can talk about your day at work or vent about some problem you might be facing with employers or colleagues, but otherwise, keep the office where it is and don't let it wreck your married life.

6. Don't Focus on Disagreements

All marriages have their share of problems and discords. It is important not to prolong an argument. If ever you disagree, try to come to a friendly conclusion. If this is impossible, at least agree to disagree and proceed with your married life. Everyday is a new beginning. Forget the disagreements or arguments of the previous day when you wake up to each day. In spite of your honest attempts, if you were unable to work out a solution to the problem, forget about it and go on with new day harmoniously.
 
7. Spend Time Together
 
It’s obvious, but a relationship without any face time is going to have problems. I have met happy couples who spend months apart because of work commitments, but they are few and far between and more often than not, their happiness is more a testament to their character and emotional abilities than anything else. Of course spending time together doesn’t simply mean being in the same room, it means actively finding time where you engage with each other. It may even take work and effort, but remember from above, a happy marriage takes work! Spending time together, also often entails spending some time alone. Children, even pets can sometimes be barriers to engaging with one another. Even if you simply have a few moments while they run off, it’s important to be alone too.

8. Make Time for Both Your Ambitions and Goals

It is all too easy to focus on your own goals and ambitions and hope or even assume that your partner shares them. If you don’t know what your partner’s life goals are, ask them. In my marriage, I have goals that are to do largely with working, whereas my wife wants to travel the world. If we did either and not the other, one of us would feel unfulfilled. The solution is of course balance. We try to do one then a little of the other, then switch.

9. Agree on Critical Issues before Marriage

Before getting married, know your partner well and discuss major issues. For instance, it will be disastrous to discover after marriage that your partner does not want any children while you want to become a parent. Differences of opinion on such crucial matters can utterly destroy a marriage. Make sure that you marry someone only after coming to an agreement about critical matters such as this. It will prevent problems cropping up in your married life in the future.

 10. Share Household Chores

This is the greatest secret to a happy married life. A couple that shares domestic chores and goes out of the way to make things easy for each other ensure happiness and peace in their married life. You will wreck your life if you don't help your spouse with domestic chores. You could also go as far as making a list of things to be done everyday and taking your share of the responsibility. It is not fair to burden one person with all the work; so a written document of the responsibilities that each partner has to shoulder will go a long way in protecting domestic peace.
 
Don't confuse harmony in married life with agreeing to everything that your spouse says. You don't have to agree to each and every issue to enjoy a peaceful and happy married life. Many factors contribute to the peace and happiness of a married life. Some might be crucial and some may be small, but they all play a major role in a harmonious marriage.

But, there are few things that I consider as a warning in marriage life. Try to avoid below things at the same time you follow tips above.

1. If you cheat on your partner it will ruin your own life, so make sure to always be honest with your spouse!

2. Always listen carefully. Some fights ruin the life even both sides do not know the cause of the fight.

3. Communication is the key to a relationship. One should feel free to discuss all things with out fear of repercussion at any time.

4. All issues need to have a solution and be resolved at the time of the conversation. Finish what you start other wise things just hang in the balance,which leads to future problems.

5. Learn to know one another understand you are not the same get to know eachother and the way they are. Respect that we are all individuals.

Have a happy and successful marriage life.

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